|Next update on WEDNESDAY, June 3rd.||Tweet|
OK, let me give you a bit of background on today's panel. Basically, thing is, the cable company sends Vallant two types of cable bills: one is purely for the "standard package" TV subscription, including the Discovery Channel and some obscure local TV stations, while the other covers the proper pay-per-view content. You see, the problem is that for some GODF&*!#ING reason, the only bill that Vallant ever receives is for the standard package, so how is Vallant EVER supposed to pay for the pay-per-view stuff if he never gets the bill?! The pay-per-view stuff has all the best sports channels - you know, the stuff Vallant loves watching, and when Vallant hasn't been playing his favorite game for three months (and counting), naturally, Vallant gets a little pissed at the cable company for depriving him of that, albeit, mildly effective remedy.
At dawn, at the frozen lake, Vallant and select employees of the cable company meet. They stare at each other across the icy water. Steam billowing out of their nostrils - like a pack of snow buffaloes - they pounce and come thundering down over the massive dry ice.
Without flinching, Vallant lets out a shrill cry, charging at the infernal employees of the cable company - a charge so righteous it burns the word "justice" into the ice as he rushes across the frozen lake bed. Likewise, the cable company employees, maddened by years of bad support and customer abuse, gallop at Vallant in their blind fury, looking for subscriber blood.
There, that's today's panel in a nutshell.